We All Need a Referee

Image via WikipediaMy wife and I have a very good marriage. Not an easy marriage, or a stress free, problem-less marriage, but a very good marriage. We have a good marriage because we have learned how to communicate. We have learned how to communicate through the use of a referee, or a translator if you will. Someone who has taught us to hear and appreciate the sometimes foreign language that we occasionally speak to one another. He is our Marriage Counselor, our peacemaker. Let's call him Max (name changed to protect his identity). Max has helped us untie knots since the first year of our marriage. Max is on our Christmas card list. We have brought souvenirs back from our vacations for Max. Max is part of our family.

We see him for a few weeks out of every year just for a tune up or some course adjustments. That is now. In the beginning we saw him for 10 weeks, twice in the same year because we didn't really understand each other at all. As Max has helped us to speak the same language, the need for seeing him has become less and less. Now we see him really just to catch up on where we have fallen short of being the best partners we can be and for reassurance that we are coming somewhere close to doing this thing right.

Peacemakers are good listeners. Peacemakers have no agenda other than to foster understanding between two or more opposing parties. Peacemakers are patient. Peacemakers seek to find the truth and to hold all parties accountable to it. Peacemakers are teachers, helping others to learn new ways of communicating or behaving. Peacemakers are interested ultimately in helping relationships move forward toward growth and unity. Peacemakers are experts at helping to untie knots or remove roadblocks to understanding. Peacemakers are conduits of all that is Holy in the world.

To be a peacemaker is to rise to the highest calling imaginable; that is to help others find their way back into right relationship with the Universe. To be a peacemaker is to be gifted with the ability to help others become the best reflection of Universal Love possible. To be a peacemaker is to be a selfless vessel through which turmoil and anger can be held until it is still and then given back as the seeds of understanding.

We are all called to be peacemakers.

• How can we empty ourselves so that others may be made whole?
  
• How can we learn to pause long enough so that we can understand why people act the way they do and then be part of the healing?
• How can we learn to be so loving that our primary focus becomes helping others to love and be loved?