Are You Still Here

To quote Ferris Buehler at the end of his great film...

"Are You Still Here?"

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What DoYou Want, a Formal Apology?

Have you ever heard that, or said that? Well today, I finally found one; a formal apology form. I was just cruising aroud the web and I stumbled across this long spoken of tool for peace making. You can get it here.

I don't think we can really overestimate the value of a sincere apology. It is really a way of putting the weapons down. I have come to look forward to apologizing (mostly). Apologies give us a chance to reflect on how our actions are connected to other's re-actions. Apologies, when done with a pure heart can be moments of growth and acceptance. Apologizing for how our words or actions have done someone else harm without judging whether or not they (a) should have been harmed, or (b) to what extent they were harmed, really gives us the opportunity to show love and care for them above our desire to be right or our own egos.

If peacemakers are part of the Universe's plan for us, apologies give us the chance to be peacemakers; to humble oursleves and express a concern that we have caused pain by our actions or words.

Apologies are not a sign of weakness as only the strong are capable of sincere apology.

Apologies are not always an admission of guilt, rather, they are often an acknowledgement of someone elses feelings and existance.

Apologies are not only for the offended as they also release the offender.

Think about your circle of friends, family and acquaintances. Do you have apologies that can be given out? Go and apologize and restore the relationship.

Good Guys/Gals Finish Last

I used to believe this. How could you not? It’s fairly common to observe people doing the right thing and loosing money, status, thier jobs, sometimes even thier lives because they would not give into living as the world was pushing them to. People who stick to thier convictions even in the face of persecution, mockery and loss have an incredible strength. It seems though, that the ones who are willing to put themselves fist at all cost, the ones who live in a place of kill or be killed, are often the ones rewarded and admired.

I knew a man who worked as a salesperson for a steel company. He was above average at his job. Financially, his sales were valued by the company, but his opinions and personality weren’t. He worked among men with colorful and demeaning ways to talk about women, minorities, homosexuals and the handicapped. Men who could talk about and diminish the humanity of these groups of people not only behind closed doors, but in the open, every day, often in front of or even directed towards the very targets of their hateful speech. This dehumanizing speech was a way to control those who did not fit in their group.

My friend would often speak out and defend these other groups. Because of this, he was mocked and placed socially among the group of outsiders. Raises would be given, he got none. Promotions were handed out, he got none. Bonuses were paid, he got none. The more my friend spoke out, the more he was pushed to the margins of the company. I asked him why he didn’t just give up and either stop pushing back or quit.

He told me that he didn’t quit because these people needed a voice of truth and love in their midst. He felt like he was providing some small counter balance to the hate, lest the victims come to believe fully that they were less than the ones with the biggest mouths. He told me he didn’t shut up as a way of defending himself and ensuring that he was happier and healthier than the bigots he worked with.

Happier? How could he be happier when he was subject to verbal abuse, unfair treatment, and economic penalties?

He explained that when he went home at night he was able to enjoy his family. He carried no toxic emotions out of the office. When he slept at night, he said, sleep came quickly into his mind which was unclouded by guilt or hate, or plans for revenge. He told how he was able to laugh at truly funny things during his work day because he could see them. He could see them because he was not busy hiding himself, or staring at someone who had done him wrong.

Years later, he is still alive. Many of his coworkers have died of heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, alcohol related illness and even suicide. He lives. He not only lives, he still has friends from back then, friends he made while standing with them against the verbal and mental abuse of the world. He lives, happily, in good health, and surrounded by friends while the “winners” in that company have died, many alone.

How blessed was he to have the strength to stand up amidst persecution and injustice. How rich he was to have been able to place principals before money and status. I would say that nice guys may sometimes finish last, but they always finish strong, whole, and in closer relationship with the Creator.