Good Guys/Gals Finish Last

I used to believe this. How could you not? It’s fairly common to observe people doing the right thing and loosing money, status, thier jobs, sometimes even thier lives because they would not give into living as the world was pushing them to. People who stick to thier convictions even in the face of persecution, mockery and loss have an incredible strength. It seems though, that the ones who are willing to put themselves fist at all cost, the ones who live in a place of kill or be killed, are often the ones rewarded and admired.

I knew a man who worked as a salesperson for a steel company. He was above average at his job. Financially, his sales were valued by the company, but his opinions and personality weren’t. He worked among men with colorful and demeaning ways to talk about women, minorities, homosexuals and the handicapped. Men who could talk about and diminish the humanity of these groups of people not only behind closed doors, but in the open, every day, often in front of or even directed towards the very targets of their hateful speech. This dehumanizing speech was a way to control those who did not fit in their group.

My friend would often speak out and defend these other groups. Because of this, he was mocked and placed socially among the group of outsiders. Raises would be given, he got none. Promotions were handed out, he got none. Bonuses were paid, he got none. The more my friend spoke out, the more he was pushed to the margins of the company. I asked him why he didn’t just give up and either stop pushing back or quit.

He told me that he didn’t quit because these people needed a voice of truth and love in their midst. He felt like he was providing some small counter balance to the hate, lest the victims come to believe fully that they were less than the ones with the biggest mouths. He told me he didn’t shut up as a way of defending himself and ensuring that he was happier and healthier than the bigots he worked with.

Happier? How could he be happier when he was subject to verbal abuse, unfair treatment, and economic penalties?

He explained that when he went home at night he was able to enjoy his family. He carried no toxic emotions out of the office. When he slept at night, he said, sleep came quickly into his mind which was unclouded by guilt or hate, or plans for revenge. He told how he was able to laugh at truly funny things during his work day because he could see them. He could see them because he was not busy hiding himself, or staring at someone who had done him wrong.

Years later, he is still alive. Many of his coworkers have died of heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, alcohol related illness and even suicide. He lives. He not only lives, he still has friends from back then, friends he made while standing with them against the verbal and mental abuse of the world. He lives, happily, in good health, and surrounded by friends while the “winners” in that company have died, many alone.

How blessed was he to have the strength to stand up amidst persecution and injustice. How rich he was to have been able to place principals before money and status. I would say that nice guys may sometimes finish last, but they always finish strong, whole, and in closer relationship with the Creator.

The Joy of Desperation

Image via Wikipedia

How to Survive A Grizzly Attack

Source The art of manliness.com

1. Carry bear pepper spray. Experts recommend that hikers in bear country carry with them bear pepper spray. UDAP bear pepper spray is a highly concentrated capsaicin spray that creates a large cloud. This stuff will usually stop a bear in it’s tracks.

2. Don’t run. When you run, the bear thinks you’re prey and will continue chasing you, so stand your ground. And don’t think you can out run a bear. Bears are fast. They can reach speeds of 30 mph. Unless you’re an Olympic sprinter, don’t bother running.
3. Drop to the ground in the fetal position and cover the back of your neck with your hands. If you don’t have pepper spray or the bear continues to charge even after the spray, this is your next best defense. Hit the ground immediately and curl into the fetal position.
4. Play dead. Grizzlies will stop attacking when they feel there’s no longer a threat. If they think you’re dead, they won’t think you’re threatening. Once the bear is done tossing you around and leaves, continue to play dead. Grizzlies are known for waiting around to see if their victim will get back up.

How to Survive a Riptide

Source: Loving-Long-Island.com

Over 100 people drown in rip currents every year. The tragedy is compounded by the fact that rip currents are so very easy to avoid, and very easy to escape if you do happen to get caught up in one.

Rip currents are sometimes mistakenly referred to as riptides and undertow. These names are misnomers because although rip currents pull swimmers away from shore they have nothing to do with the tides and they do not pull swimmers under.

The real danger with rip currents is not that you're getting pulled away from shore, but how you react.

Most swimmers will panic and try to swim against the current. They will tire quickly and soon go under.

Desperation. Utter hopelessness. End of the rope. All expressions we are probably familiar with and unfortunately we have probably felt at one point or another. Grizzly bear attacks and rip currents both prove an important truth of the Universe though. It is when we know enough not to struggle against the thing that's trying to kill us that we are released from it. In actuality, sometimes it isn't even knowing enough that allows us to stop the fight, it is being exhausted, broken, ready to quit, roll over and die.

Alcoholics and drug addicts find the strength to get sober after they have hit bottom.

Bad relationships can be healed or ended after everyone has been emotionally drained and has no more fight for their personal agenda left in them.

People with eating disorders often find the strength to get healthy once they have gotten physically so sick that they almost loose their lives.

People will find a faith and a God of their understanding after they have been too tired, too lonely, too hopeless for too long; once they are exhausted and ready to quit.

It's almost as if, in all cases from grizzly attack to addiction, life wants to restore itself, healing wants to occur, but it cannot until we stop fighting. Until we know enough to stop or until we are so tired and spent that we have no more energy and we just roll over and accept what may come. That acceptance, that surrender, is our salvation.

We try so hard to avoid those times when we hit a wall, when we are broken down, when we have no strength to go on. Those things we struggle so hard against are actually blessed opportunities to witness how great and powerful the Universe is. We are blessed when we are broken because the fight is out of us. We are blessed when we are exhausted and empty because without our own agenda and plans in the way, Life and Love can take over and save us, resurrect us, bring us back from the brink of extinction that we are so sure we will fall into. It is those times and situations when we are at our lowest that we are near the Holy, vulnerable and ready to accept the Universe's healing love and grace.

Desperation is not to be fought against. It is to be welcomed, celebrated, even hoped for sometimes. If it is always darkest before the dawn, bring on the darkness today so that we may dance in the light tomorrow.

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How do you shake a bad day?

It's raining/snowing out, your heart feels lonely and the tapes in your head are running at full, you are so inadequate, speed. How do you break yourself out of it?

What activities or diversions are sure fire winners for you when it comes to pulling out of the doldrums?

Share your comments below and let's see if we can't give each other a hand up on those days when we feel down. That is one of the benefits of community.

Person Refuge?

Image by Dizzy Girl via Flickr
Yesterday was the day every week that my family has chosen to set aside and rest. we use the word sabbath for that day. That word fits for us culturally, but I am becoming more and more aware that that word is also loaded with religious significance for many people. Sometimes, as I talk to people about their Spirits and their Universal Truths, I am struck by just how much those words that are closely tied to religion can be a real turn off. The words themselves seem to actually become roadblocks to some wonderful practices and ideas. Why that happens is probably fodder for another posting, and probably another blogger. Today though, I would like to take one word, sabbath, and deconstruct it. The concept itself is so important to serenity and fulfillment that it is worth blowing up the roadblock.

Sabbath- n - [Middle English sabat, from Old French sabbat and Old English sabat, both from Latin sabbatum, from Greek sabbaton, from Hebrew abbt, from bat, to cease, rest; see bt in Semitic roots.] Definition courtesy the free dictionary. com

To cease, to rest. To set aside all of the business and work of the other 6 days of the week and engage in stopping and resting. There is no religion tied to the word itself. Certainly, that connection comes up in the Judeo-Christian tradition, it is even one of the commandments but at it's root, the word and concept itself, sabbath simply means to cease and to rest.

Why rest? We seem to be so busy, to have so much to do. We know that there is no time to rest because in resting, something important won't get done. To answer why rest, let's look at nature:

• Plant crops in a field for too many consecutive years and the field will be depleted of nutrients
  
• Stay awake too long and there will be serious mental and physical consequences
• Trees and flowers all have seasons of growth and output followed by seasons of dormancy
  
• Wild animals have times of active hunting and gathering followed by periods or rest or in some cases, hibernation.

If any of these naturally occurring seasons of rest is skipped for too long a period of time, life can not continue. Rest, ceasing, seems to be built into the very fabric of nature.

To set aside one day a week in honor of who you are and Who created you is a gift. It is a gift to yourself, the fulfillment of your potential and to the universe itself. It is a way of respecting and nurturing the gift of life that was placed in you.

Call it what you need to, sabbath, rest day, refuge, sanctuary, cease and desist day, whatever works for you, just call it something and honor it. Set aside a day, every week, to not engage in business as usual. To honor the creation that you are and the Universe that Created you (in your own understanding). We provide wildlife refuges to protect animals from hunters, pollution, construction and noise, why do we think that we do not need that same protection once in a while. Pick a day and create your own "person refuge".

• Do you take time out of "business as usual" regularly?
• What would you do with that time if you took it?
• How would you include your family in those times?
• Can you figure out a way to try this, if not for a whole day, how about a morning?
• How has not taking a person refuge day impacted your body, Spirit and relationships in the past?
  

Forgiveness

Image by daftgirly via Flickr
He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass. ~George Herbert

Forgiveness is difficult. Difficult is an understatement. Forgiveness can seem impossible, can feel unattainable. Holding a grudge feels easier, more logical, an understandable response. It often feels like forgiveness is tantamount to surrendering, to declaring the one who wronged us the victor.

The reality is that not forgiving holds us captive. It keeps us locked in battle with the one who hurt us. An unending tug of war for victory. The problem is it is an internal struggle happening only within you, the offended. The other party is often unaware that you are still locked up in this conflict. The energy you spend on this is diverted away from seeking peace and love and balance in your life.

The Fetzer Institute does great work with it's Campaign for Love and Forgiveness. Is there something or someone that you are having trouble forgiving or putting behind you? Try their on-line ritual for letting go.

Spend some time today releasing others from grudges and past hurts. You maybe surprised how much you actually release yourself.

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Speed Limit Warning

Image by F.A.C.E. Ministries via Flickr

We have speed limits on the highways to help keep us safe and to conserve energy. We follow those speed limits (give or take 5 MPH) because we fear the consequences of getting caught. What about the speed limits that exist in our bodies? Are we even aware of them? Would we follow them if we were?

According to Helpguide.org, adults need 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night, every night in order to allow our bodies to heal and recover from the normal wear and tear of a day. this includes our nervous system, our brain function and our immune system not to mention our moods, memory and concentration. Try this fun little test to see how alert you are right now! How did you do? Are you less alert than you thought?

How's your breathing? Did you know that the average adult citizen of the United States breathes in and out at the rate of anywhere between 12 to 20 breathes per minute? According to Lumrix.net,

A trained, systematic approach to deep breathing may lower respiration rates in cardiac patients, helping them to maintain healthy blood oxygen levels and become more physically fit. In one study, 15 cardiac patients were assigned to one of two experimental groups. One of the groups learned "complete yoga breathing," a style of respiration that encourages slow, deep breathing at a rate of about six breaths per minute. Those patients continued practicing the breathing method at home for an hour a day. After a month, the patients practicing the breathing technique breathed more slowly, had higher levels of blood oxygen, and performed better on exercise tests.

http://www.lumrix.net/health/Respiratory_rate.html

http://snipurl.com/81p2a

That would mean we are probably averaging half the oxygen saturation we need for more energy, faster metabolisms, and better overall health. How many breathes are you taking in a minute? You can time yourself here. Can you even get yourself to 6 breathes per minute?

How about for one week, you give yourself permission to slow down. Breathe slower and more deeply. Sleep at least 8 hours a night. Think about why we are so willing to obey the speed limit in our cars, but not with our bodies. Maybe part of why we feel so tired all the time is because we actually are so tired all the time. Not enough fuel (oxygen) in, too much fuel spent (lack of sleep) = empty tanks.

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