What DoYou Want, a Formal Apology?

Have you ever heard that, or said that? Well today, I finally found one; a formal apology form. I was just cruising aroud the web and I stumbled across this long spoken of tool for peace making. You can get it here.

I don't think we can really overestimate the value of a sincere apology. It is really a way of putting the weapons down. I have come to look forward to apologizing (mostly). Apologies give us a chance to reflect on how our actions are connected to other's re-actions. Apologies, when done with a pure heart can be moments of growth and acceptance. Apologizing for how our words or actions have done someone else harm without judging whether or not they (a) should have been harmed, or (b) to what extent they were harmed, really gives us the opportunity to show love and care for them above our desire to be right or our own egos.

If peacemakers are part of the Universe's plan for us, apologies give us the chance to be peacemakers; to humble oursleves and express a concern that we have caused pain by our actions or words.

Apologies are not a sign of weakness as only the strong are capable of sincere apology.

Apologies are not always an admission of guilt, rather, they are often an acknowledgement of someone elses feelings and existance.

Apologies are not only for the offended as they also release the offender.

Think about your circle of friends, family and acquaintances. Do you have apologies that can be given out? Go and apologize and restore the relationship.

Good Guys/Gals Finish Last

I used to believe this. How could you not? It’s fairly common to observe people doing the right thing and loosing money, status, thier jobs, sometimes even thier lives because they would not give into living as the world was pushing them to. People who stick to thier convictions even in the face of persecution, mockery and loss have an incredible strength. It seems though, that the ones who are willing to put themselves fist at all cost, the ones who live in a place of kill or be killed, are often the ones rewarded and admired.

I knew a man who worked as a salesperson for a steel company. He was above average at his job. Financially, his sales were valued by the company, but his opinions and personality weren’t. He worked among men with colorful and demeaning ways to talk about women, minorities, homosexuals and the handicapped. Men who could talk about and diminish the humanity of these groups of people not only behind closed doors, but in the open, every day, often in front of or even directed towards the very targets of their hateful speech. This dehumanizing speech was a way to control those who did not fit in their group.

My friend would often speak out and defend these other groups. Because of this, he was mocked and placed socially among the group of outsiders. Raises would be given, he got none. Promotions were handed out, he got none. Bonuses were paid, he got none. The more my friend spoke out, the more he was pushed to the margins of the company. I asked him why he didn’t just give up and either stop pushing back or quit.

He told me that he didn’t quit because these people needed a voice of truth and love in their midst. He felt like he was providing some small counter balance to the hate, lest the victims come to believe fully that they were less than the ones with the biggest mouths. He told me he didn’t shut up as a way of defending himself and ensuring that he was happier and healthier than the bigots he worked with.

Happier? How could he be happier when he was subject to verbal abuse, unfair treatment, and economic penalties?

He explained that when he went home at night he was able to enjoy his family. He carried no toxic emotions out of the office. When he slept at night, he said, sleep came quickly into his mind which was unclouded by guilt or hate, or plans for revenge. He told how he was able to laugh at truly funny things during his work day because he could see them. He could see them because he was not busy hiding himself, or staring at someone who had done him wrong.

Years later, he is still alive. Many of his coworkers have died of heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, alcohol related illness and even suicide. He lives. He not only lives, he still has friends from back then, friends he made while standing with them against the verbal and mental abuse of the world. He lives, happily, in good health, and surrounded by friends while the “winners” in that company have died, many alone.

How blessed was he to have the strength to stand up amidst persecution and injustice. How rich he was to have been able to place principals before money and status. I would say that nice guys may sometimes finish last, but they always finish strong, whole, and in closer relationship with the Creator.

We All Need a Referee

Image via WikipediaMy wife and I have a very good marriage. Not an easy marriage, or a stress free, problem-less marriage, but a very good marriage. We have a good marriage because we have learned how to communicate. We have learned how to communicate through the use of a referee, or a translator if you will. Someone who has taught us to hear and appreciate the sometimes foreign language that we occasionally speak to one another. He is our Marriage Counselor, our peacemaker. Let's call him Max (name changed to protect his identity). Max has helped us untie knots since the first year of our marriage. Max is on our Christmas card list. We have brought souvenirs back from our vacations for Max. Max is part of our family.

We see him for a few weeks out of every year just for a tune up or some course adjustments. That is now. In the beginning we saw him for 10 weeks, twice in the same year because we didn't really understand each other at all. As Max has helped us to speak the same language, the need for seeing him has become less and less. Now we see him really just to catch up on where we have fallen short of being the best partners we can be and for reassurance that we are coming somewhere close to doing this thing right.

Peacemakers are good listeners. Peacemakers have no agenda other than to foster understanding between two or more opposing parties. Peacemakers are patient. Peacemakers seek to find the truth and to hold all parties accountable to it. Peacemakers are teachers, helping others to learn new ways of communicating or behaving. Peacemakers are interested ultimately in helping relationships move forward toward growth and unity. Peacemakers are experts at helping to untie knots or remove roadblocks to understanding. Peacemakers are conduits of all that is Holy in the world.

To be a peacemaker is to rise to the highest calling imaginable; that is to help others find their way back into right relationship with the Universe. To be a peacemaker is to be gifted with the ability to help others become the best reflection of Universal Love possible. To be a peacemaker is to be a selfless vessel through which turmoil and anger can be held until it is still and then given back as the seeds of understanding.

We are all called to be peacemakers.

• How can we empty ourselves so that others may be made whole?
  
• How can we learn to pause long enough so that we can understand why people act the way they do and then be part of the healing?
• How can we learn to be so loving that our primary focus becomes helping others to love and be loved?

I Can See Clearly Now...

Image by weye via Flic
"I can see clearly now, the rain is gone. I can see all obstacles in my way. Gone are the dark clouds, that had me blind. It's gonna be a bright, bright, sunshiney day" -From the song, I Can See Clearly Now by Johnny Nash-

I was driving yesterday and I ran out of windshield washer fluid. With all of the ice, rain and salt on the roads it wasn't long until I couldn't see. The world looked smeary, foggy and dark.

I was going through an intersection with this limited visibility and someone appeared out of nowhere and I almost slammed into them. By the grace of God I didn't, but I found myself intensely angry at this persons careless driving. How could they have just popped up like that. They had to have been the most careless and selfish driver ever. They could have caused an accident which would have left me injured and with expenses that I can't afford. How dare they!

A few minutes went by and I realized that indeed, they did not just "pop-up". I was blinded by my own dirty windshield. My inability to see and my tendency to blame others was totally my fault. I needed to clean my own windshield. I stopped at a service station and filled my washer fluid.

Once my window was clean, WOW, what a difference. The sun was shining, the sky was clear, my anger and frustration was gone.

Life is like that. When we carry toxic feelings and emotions in us, greed, anger, shame, guilt, hate, jealousy, vengeance, hurt, grudges, etc.; it truly clouds our vision. We become unable to see what's good and beautiful in the world and in other people because our "windows" (hearts) are dirty. It's amazing how the clearer our vision, the more likely we are to be able to see, and be aware of, the miraculous in the universe.

Conversely, carrying this stuff inside of us creates a self fulfilling cycle of misery. The less we can see Goodness, the less we feel Goodness exists. The less we feel Goodness exists, the more stuff piles up in our hearts that clouds our vision. How blessed are those who live with pure hearts. They are able to see, more often than not, the Creator of the Universe in everything around them.

Get yourself some cleaner and get that crap washed off of and out of your line of vision. May you see clearly today and realize what a "bright, bright, sunshiney day" it is. Today and every day.

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Mercy Me!

What does it mean to be merciful?

Forgiving?
Generous?
Helpful?
Interested in healing?

Generally put, to be merciful is to be able to empathize with others and then to care enough to do something positive for them.

Probably all of us are merciful from time to time. We find a cause that strikes our hearts, or a person who, for whatever reason, becomes our lost kitten; we take them home, feed them, pour them milk and love them.

How many of us are merciful at all times and in all ways though?
Why would you want to be?

I hear it all the time, "the world is not fair", "why can't people treat each other with kindness?", "nobody smiles anymore". We are all very aware that we live in an often merciless world. We long for it to be different. Yet, for us to show mercy, in all times and in all ways would mean putting ourselves and our agendas second, often. Here's the thing though... If we agree that the world needs more healing, kindness and charity, why do we continue to choose to live outside of it ourselves?

Wouldn't we be more likely to say that the world is merciful, that we were surrounded with kindness and healing, if we choose to live that way?

It almost makes sense that if we live mercifully, we will begin to see that it is truly a merciful world. Hear me out on this. If we live at the ocean, the world is wet. If we live in the desert, the world is hot and dry. If we live at a carnival the world is loud and smells like cotton candy.

Maybe it's too simplistic, but if we want to see mercy, if we want to know that the world is a compassionate place, if we ourselves long to receive mercy, perhaps we should start by living mercifully. Maybe the merciful are as blessed through their own behavior and actions as the people to whom they show mercy.

Desperately Seeking Water

I was hiking once in Valley of Fire State Park just outside of Las Vegas, Nevada. I was on the trail headed for Mouse's Tank, alone, just me and a couple of cameras.

I am from the east coast, not too far from the Atlantic Ocean. I do not understand deserts. I am fascinated by their size, color, and extreme changes in climate that can happen all of a sudden.

The trail was beautiful. Canyon walls on both sides, Native American petroglyphs all around, small bushy succulents and cacti everywhere. I was about 3/4 mile into the canyon when it started to rain. Rain in the desert! What a neat thing to see. I found some shelter under a rock overhang so I could enjoy this "seemingly rare" occurrence. Not understanding deserts, or canyons, I did not realize that, 1.water does not absorb into the ground and 2. the canyon is a canyon because when it does rain, all of the water coming off the mountains runs through here.

It wasn't long before the small trickle of water in the previously dry canyon had swelled to a fast moving river about 4 feet wide by 2 feet deep. I was trapped in the canyon. Deciding it was time to get out before it got worse, I grossly underestimated the speed of the moving water and attempted to step into the stream to get across to land I could walk on. Bad move. My legs were swept out from under me and I was being pushed deeper into the canyon. I had two thoughts; my cameras are ruined, and I am going to die here.

Of course, I was able to roll out of the water onto higher ground and the threat of death was removed but I did loose my cameras (thankfully not my memory card so I have pics to remember). I was bloodied, pants torn and looking like a survivor of some tragic event, but I was alive. I began to walk toward the mouth of the canyon. It had stopped raining but the water was still flowing and looked to do so for a while.

The moment it stopped raining, hundreds of small flying gnats came out followed by bats and a large community of lizards. The lizards were looking at me like "you know, you really shouldn't be here right now". Even they knew I should have been smart enought to get out when the rain started.

I got to within 100 feet of the main road when I reached a spot too wide and too fast to cross. It looked as if I would have to sit and wait for the flood waters to subside and I could go no further until they did.
Some people drove up on the road, saw me trapped and stopped their car. They came as close as they could get to me, about 10 feet, and asked me if I was OK. I let them know that I was not hurt beyond some scratches and bruises. They then asked me the strangest question; "Do you need any water?". I was surrounded by water. A rope maybe, a board to walk across to safety certainly, but water? Water was the last thing I needed. Now, they were actually asking me about drinking water since they had no idea how long I had been trapped there but in that instant I remember thinking that I had enough water to satisfy me and needed nothing but a way across. They left, as there was nothing they could do for me.

Then I got thirsty.

I was so focused on survival and self reliance that I passed up the water that I truly needed. I saw so much other water all around that it never occurred to me that it is undrinkable and would not be what I needed to satisfy my thirst. I wish that I had been smart enough, or blessed enough to realize what I was thirsty for when it was offered.

My spiritual journey has been much the same. I spent many years wandering around, seeing "water" everywhere but never being able to quench my thirst with it. To beat a metaphor to death, it was actually drowning me, pulling me deeper and deeper into the desert.

How incredibly blessed was I on the day I realized that the water I thirst for comes from right relationship with the Universe and others. It was as if once I knew what I was hungry and thirsty for, only then could I begin to seek to be filled. Once I was able to identify my fruitless quest for satisfaction through things, people, money, addictions, etc. and accept that what I longed for was to know that I was created and designed by the Universe and that my presence, gifts talents and passions were part of His plan to restore myself and others to relationship with Him, only then was I able to say yes. Yes, I am thirsty. Yes, I need water. Only then was I able to start to be filled.

May you know that you are thirsty. May you know that the water you need has been given to you in creation and that you only need to start to drink. May you stay out of deserts and canyons and rapidly flowing flood waters as there is no life there.

Enough of the metaphor.

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I Can't Get No...Satisfaction

Meek. Humble.

Not two of the most admired traits in the world unfortunately. If we think about how we define those two words we often get the sense that they are submissive, docile, easily taken advantage of. They can mean all of those things, certainly, but they can also mean gentle, peaceful patient, unpretentious, not arrogant or prideful, definitely more positive traits no?

In a world of "I gotta' get mine", "kill or be killed", "lead, follow or get out of the way", We tend to look toward the driven, the aggressive and the domineering person as "having it all together".

• What if the opposite were true?
  
• What if the meek and humble were able to be that way because they were satisfied with who they are?
• What if the driven and dominant were that way because they were on a never ending quest to be filled and to feel complete, like they finally had enough?
• What if meekness and humility were goals we set for ourselves and traits we admired in others?

How blessed would we be if we were so content and satisfied with who we are, what our gifts and talents are and our place in the Universe that we truly felt we didn't need to fight or posture ourselves differently. If it is true that the meek shall inherit the earth, would it hold that once we felt so full of the Spirit of the Universe that we didn't want for anything else, we may as well have the whole world as it would not make us any fuller.

• What thing(s) do you feel would finally make you complete?
• How can you put down that feeling and become content with who and what you already are?

May you come to know that you are whole, perfect and complete and then live out of that completeness so that it flows over into others.

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Avoiding the Pain

Image via Wikipedia
We are a pain adverse culture. We try to avoid sadness, mourning and pain at all costs. We deny our feelings, pretend to be OK, mask the pain with activities or addictions, anything we can do to escape it. We want to be happy!

What we miss out on in this quest for happiness at all times, be it real or artificial, is the blessings that come with and after the pain.

Without mourning, I can not learn what it is like to heal. I can not come to a full appreciation of what I have been given and the people that I love until I am aware of the mourning that comes from loss. I can not come to know the comfort that the Universe will hold me in until I am willing to admit to and go through the sadness and hurt. It is in the healing that I come to know how gracious and loving the Universe is.

It is in our willingness to travel through loss, sadness and grief that we learn how to navigate that road for the future. I remember when I was young having difficulty sleeping without a night light. It seems trite, but it wasn't until I was willing to sleep in the dark for several nights in a row that I came to believe that light would return in the morning and that I had nothing to fear. Going through the dark night unaided by artificial light took away the fear of the darkness completely. Sadness and grief are like that too.

Even in our greatest loss there is blessing. We are all terrified at loosing the thing most dear to us; a relationship, our job, a possession, you know what I am talking about. The thing that we feel identifies us and which we would be nothing without. In surviving those huge losses, allowing ourselves to move honestly and fully through them, we become aware that the Universe is bigger than that and It's creation of us is also bigger than any one relationship, possession or loss. Creation and God are truly about life. Life continuing, life returning, life surviving.

Mourning as a blessing... Loss as something not to be hoped for, but to be thanked for the lessons, gifts and blessings it brings.

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The Joy of Desperation

Image via Wikipedia

How to Survive A Grizzly Attack

Source The art of manliness.com

1. Carry bear pepper spray. Experts recommend that hikers in bear country carry with them bear pepper spray. UDAP bear pepper spray is a highly concentrated capsaicin spray that creates a large cloud. This stuff will usually stop a bear in it’s tracks.

2. Don’t run. When you run, the bear thinks you’re prey and will continue chasing you, so stand your ground. And don’t think you can out run a bear. Bears are fast. They can reach speeds of 30 mph. Unless you’re an Olympic sprinter, don’t bother running.
3. Drop to the ground in the fetal position and cover the back of your neck with your hands. If you don’t have pepper spray or the bear continues to charge even after the spray, this is your next best defense. Hit the ground immediately and curl into the fetal position.
4. Play dead. Grizzlies will stop attacking when they feel there’s no longer a threat. If they think you’re dead, they won’t think you’re threatening. Once the bear is done tossing you around and leaves, continue to play dead. Grizzlies are known for waiting around to see if their victim will get back up.

How to Survive a Riptide

Source: Loving-Long-Island.com

Over 100 people drown in rip currents every year. The tragedy is compounded by the fact that rip currents are so very easy to avoid, and very easy to escape if you do happen to get caught up in one.

Rip currents are sometimes mistakenly referred to as riptides and undertow. These names are misnomers because although rip currents pull swimmers away from shore they have nothing to do with the tides and they do not pull swimmers under.

The real danger with rip currents is not that you're getting pulled away from shore, but how you react.

Most swimmers will panic and try to swim against the current. They will tire quickly and soon go under.

Desperation. Utter hopelessness. End of the rope. All expressions we are probably familiar with and unfortunately we have probably felt at one point or another. Grizzly bear attacks and rip currents both prove an important truth of the Universe though. It is when we know enough not to struggle against the thing that's trying to kill us that we are released from it. In actuality, sometimes it isn't even knowing enough that allows us to stop the fight, it is being exhausted, broken, ready to quit, roll over and die.

Alcoholics and drug addicts find the strength to get sober after they have hit bottom.

Bad relationships can be healed or ended after everyone has been emotionally drained and has no more fight for their personal agenda left in them.

People with eating disorders often find the strength to get healthy once they have gotten physically so sick that they almost loose their lives.

People will find a faith and a God of their understanding after they have been too tired, too lonely, too hopeless for too long; once they are exhausted and ready to quit.

It's almost as if, in all cases from grizzly attack to addiction, life wants to restore itself, healing wants to occur, but it cannot until we stop fighting. Until we know enough to stop or until we are so tired and spent that we have no more energy and we just roll over and accept what may come. That acceptance, that surrender, is our salvation.

We try so hard to avoid those times when we hit a wall, when we are broken down, when we have no strength to go on. Those things we struggle so hard against are actually blessed opportunities to witness how great and powerful the Universe is. We are blessed when we are broken because the fight is out of us. We are blessed when we are exhausted and empty because without our own agenda and plans in the way, Life and Love can take over and save us, resurrect us, bring us back from the brink of extinction that we are so sure we will fall into. It is those times and situations when we are at our lowest that we are near the Holy, vulnerable and ready to accept the Universe's healing love and grace.

Desperation is not to be fought against. It is to be welcomed, celebrated, even hoped for sometimes. If it is always darkest before the dawn, bring on the darkness today so that we may dance in the light tomorrow.

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Is Today Your Birthday?

Image by Jacob Johan via Flickr
It's my birthday today. My beautiful, can't-sing-a-note wife sang the birthday song to me. We are celebrating because I was born 42 years ago, a great day to be sure, but frankly an event I had nothing to do with except having the ability to breathe on my own when it was all over. Don't get me wrong, the contributions and gifts we bring to the world are worth celebrating, I'm just not sure there aren't at least several other dates to remember that we could call Birthdays.

If a birthday celebration marks the day we entered into the world and became human, what about other days when we entered more fully into the world and became more fully human?
Do you even remember what those events are or what date they fell on originally?
Could you make a list of all of those watershed events in your life and begin celebrating them?
Here's some possible RE-BIRTHDAYS for you to consider:

• Your first love
• Your graduation day
• The day you realized what you wanted to do with your life and started taking steps to get there
• The day you looked around and realized you WERE there
• The day you completed a long and difficult series of steps to reach an important goal
• Your wedding day
• The day you quit using drugs, alcohol, sex, eating, shopping, working, etc. as a crutch to get through life
• The day you knew, irrevocably, that there was a God and that God was good
• The day you became a parent
• The day you ended a harmful and difficult relationship
• The day you were announced to be cancer free
• The day you read the book that changed your life
• The day you suffered a loss so profound that you were never the same again

Now, not all of us have all of these re-birthdays. Compile your own list and start to celebrate them this year. Life is not set in stone the day you are born. It is a constant walk toward fulfillment and growth. Remember and celebrate the milestones.

Happy birthday to me, happy re-birthday to you.

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Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?

We're back to blogging after a few days to focus attention on family and friends. Having been away from posting and realizing how excited I was to get back to it this morning, I suddenly heard the old axiom, "absence makes the heart grow fonder" rattling around in my head. I am wondering if that is universally true.

I know that I have missed the opportunity to express my thoughts and questions on spiritual stuff every morning. I have missed the way it forces me to jog my own brain and I have missed hearing from others how it jogs theirs as well. The discipline is welcome in my life and my sense of wanting to entertain and provoke the thoughts of others is well served by this blog and is missed when it is absent from my day.

• What of people and their Spirits though?
  
• How many generally absent friends or family members did you see this holiday that lifted your heart?
  
• What was it about them that you missed?
  
• Were you able to tell them?
  
• Are you going to maintain the relationship throughout the year, or is it best to keep the absence, lest the heart grow weary of them?
  

One of the most interesting absences I was blessed to rekindle this holiday season was not a person, but a familial relationship. I always see my Mother and my Siblings over the holidays but this year we were able to spend time together with a cousin. I see this cousin regularly, and I love him, but it was the community relationship that I was surprised to see had been missing. The addition of this member of our extended family who had been absent from our holidays for at least 30 years gave us a larger communal memory to look back over, to laugh about and to cherish. It was almost as if our family's touchstone of memory was increased exponentially by this spirit that had been away for too long.

Did the extended absence make any of our hearts grow fonder? I don't know. I can tell you that the reunion of the family made our hearts grow larger. We laughed harder than we had in the past, we felt fuller and more complete than in previous years, and our spouses and young children saw and heard parts of our history that they were never exposed to before. All of these things added up to a richer and more Spirit filled holiday.

Now, i am very aware that sometimes absence is necessary for the health of a person or a family. I know that there are some who are absent that should probably remain that way. What I would ask you to consider though is if your heart was lightened when you reunited with someone who has been absent from your life;

• what can you do to keep the absence from reappearing?
  
• what common glue can you find to "keep it together"?
• can you, at the very least, express to them what they mean to you?
  

May your absences in 2009 be few, may your heart be fonder of everyone and everything, may you grow in peace.

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Comfort Foods and Inner Peace

Image via Wikipedia

Meatloaf, oatmeal, grilled cheese sandwiches, chocolate chip cookies, chicken soup, mashed potatoes, comfort foods. The name of some of those foods alone can conjure up a smell, a taste and often a feeling.

• What is your ultimate comfort food?
  
• How old were you when it entered your life?
  
• When do you crave, or turn to that food now?
• What is it about that food that feels right to you?
• Have you shared it with other people?

For me, I have two that stand out in my mind tonight.

The first is pear juice. That's right, pear juice. If you haven't had it, you should. You need to make sure it is chilled well and DO NOT PUT ICE IN IT! Pear juice has a wonderful thick and grainy texture that gets diluted with ice. My mother would get it for me whenever I got sick as a child. I swear it still, to this day, speeds my recovery. Really though, it tastes like nurturing and support, love and care.

Another food that really does it for me is pupusa. Pupusa came into my life much later. At the age of 39 I went, for the first time, to El Salvador. I fell in love with the country, the people and the spirit of that small nation. I learned there that community is our hope, that life and the desire for survival is stronger than we know and that faith is alive and can be consumed like oxygen or food. I left there after a week. I have returned there and will many more times, God willing. When I am lucky enough to find decent pupusa in the U.S. (no small feat), I am instantly transported back to El Salvador. It is for me the taste of Spirit, unity and the blessings of poverty.
Image via Wikipedia

• If there was one food you could have right now, what would it be?
• How is it that food can bring us such a sense of peace and constancy?
• What does love taste like to you?
• Ask someone else what their favorite comfort food is and why.

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How do you shake a bad day?

It's raining/snowing out, your heart feels lonely and the tapes in your head are running at full, you are so inadequate, speed. How do you break yourself out of it?

What activities or diversions are sure fire winners for you when it comes to pulling out of the doldrums?

Share your comments below and let's see if we can't give each other a hand up on those days when we feel down. That is one of the benefits of community.

Home for the Holidays

Image by TW Collins via Flickr

"There's no place like home for the holidays", "I'll be home for Christmas", "Please come home for Christmas", These are all lines or titles of songs about coming home this time of year. They happen to be about Christmas, but I don't think the thought need be Christo-centric. Going home, returning to our roots, getting back to where we started from, being where our hearts are, those are all fairly universal themes that definitely do spring to mind this time of year.

• What does it mean to you to "go home"?
  
• Is it a geographical place?
  
• Is it a group of people that you call family?
  
• Is it certain foods or traditions?
  
• Why is it important for you to "go home" every now and again?
  
• What is it that you are looking for by "going home"?
• If your family of origin's home is not the kind of place you would or could return to, have you replaced it with a new definition of home or a family of choice?

All of those are wonderful and appropriate questions to ponder, but what if going home meant something else? What if going home meant getting back to our roots and our fundamental nature in the most basic sense?

If home is truly where the heart is, let's start there. When we sit in our quietest and most honest moments, we all probably know what brings us joy, what makes our hearts sing. If we stop what we do on a day to day basis, for just a little while, we can probably conjure up some of those dreams and passions about life that maybe we have discarded. Are you able to remember where your imagination takes you to when it is allowed to run wild? What talents have you had like forever that you may or may not be using anymore? Those passions, talents and dreams are all indicators of where our heart, potentially is. They are things that have been with us since birth that call us toward fulfillment.

Life often pulls us in other directions. We have bills to pay and careers to advance. We, or circumstances, have put us on different paths than the ones we heard when we were young. The expectations of others and the challenges of "growing up" have taught us that those dreams were just that, dreams.

What if this was the year that we went "home", home to where our hearts are? Take some time to check in on your dreams and passions this year, ask them how they are holding up. Blow some of the dust off of those latent talents of yours that have been resting and see where you can integrate them into your life this year, for good. If home is where the heart is, let's check in with ourselves to see if we are living anywhere near our hearts.

Return home this December, home to your self, to your core, to your heart. If you find you have been living far from it, move a little bit closer, slowly of course, but closer. Go home.

Sing a New Song

This little video today is to remind us all that in order to really get to know people, sometimes we have to change the language we speak. Sometimes people, or Muppets, are so caught up in their own world that it is up to us, really, UP TO US, to change the tune, or the words, or the speed at which we speak. When we can do that, when we are able to set aside all of our prejudices, our agendas and our "sense of rightness", then we will be able to get to know people for who and what they really are. To love the unloveable, to sing to the disinterested, to smile at the grouchy, to watch as they are transformed because someone cared enough to reach in towards them, oh yeah... now we're getting it.

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Person Refuge?

Image by Dizzy Girl via Flickr
Yesterday was the day every week that my family has chosen to set aside and rest. we use the word sabbath for that day. That word fits for us culturally, but I am becoming more and more aware that that word is also loaded with religious significance for many people. Sometimes, as I talk to people about their Spirits and their Universal Truths, I am struck by just how much those words that are closely tied to religion can be a real turn off. The words themselves seem to actually become roadblocks to some wonderful practices and ideas. Why that happens is probably fodder for another posting, and probably another blogger. Today though, I would like to take one word, sabbath, and deconstruct it. The concept itself is so important to serenity and fulfillment that it is worth blowing up the roadblock.

Sabbath- n - [Middle English sabat, from Old French sabbat and Old English sabat, both from Latin sabbatum, from Greek sabbaton, from Hebrew abbt, from bat, to cease, rest; see bt in Semitic roots.] Definition courtesy the free dictionary. com

To cease, to rest. To set aside all of the business and work of the other 6 days of the week and engage in stopping and resting. There is no religion tied to the word itself. Certainly, that connection comes up in the Judeo-Christian tradition, it is even one of the commandments but at it's root, the word and concept itself, sabbath simply means to cease and to rest.

Why rest? We seem to be so busy, to have so much to do. We know that there is no time to rest because in resting, something important won't get done. To answer why rest, let's look at nature:

• Plant crops in a field for too many consecutive years and the field will be depleted of nutrients
  
• Stay awake too long and there will be serious mental and physical consequences
• Trees and flowers all have seasons of growth and output followed by seasons of dormancy
  
• Wild animals have times of active hunting and gathering followed by periods or rest or in some cases, hibernation.

If any of these naturally occurring seasons of rest is skipped for too long a period of time, life can not continue. Rest, ceasing, seems to be built into the very fabric of nature.

To set aside one day a week in honor of who you are and Who created you is a gift. It is a gift to yourself, the fulfillment of your potential and to the universe itself. It is a way of respecting and nurturing the gift of life that was placed in you.

Call it what you need to, sabbath, rest day, refuge, sanctuary, cease and desist day, whatever works for you, just call it something and honor it. Set aside a day, every week, to not engage in business as usual. To honor the creation that you are and the Universe that Created you (in your own understanding). We provide wildlife refuges to protect animals from hunters, pollution, construction and noise, why do we think that we do not need that same protection once in a while. Pick a day and create your own "person refuge".

• Do you take time out of "business as usual" regularly?
• What would you do with that time if you took it?
• How would you include your family in those times?
• Can you figure out a way to try this, if not for a whole day, how about a morning?
• How has not taking a person refuge day impacted your body, Spirit and relationships in the past?
  

Forgiveness

Image by daftgirly via Flickr
He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass. ~George Herbert

Forgiveness is difficult. Difficult is an understatement. Forgiveness can seem impossible, can feel unattainable. Holding a grudge feels easier, more logical, an understandable response. It often feels like forgiveness is tantamount to surrendering, to declaring the one who wronged us the victor.

The reality is that not forgiving holds us captive. It keeps us locked in battle with the one who hurt us. An unending tug of war for victory. The problem is it is an internal struggle happening only within you, the offended. The other party is often unaware that you are still locked up in this conflict. The energy you spend on this is diverted away from seeking peace and love and balance in your life.

The Fetzer Institute does great work with it's Campaign for Love and Forgiveness. Is there something or someone that you are having trouble forgiving or putting behind you? Try their on-line ritual for letting go.

Spend some time today releasing others from grudges and past hurts. You maybe surprised how much you actually release yourself.

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Holy Humor

Image via WikipediaVoltaire: "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." I do not know if Voltaire really said that, I found it on the internet. As a matter of fact, I am not even 100% sure who Voltaire was (is).

I do however share the belief that this universe is filled with humor and things that we should be laughing at, but on some level we are afraid to. It's almost as if by laughing, we are admitting to being somehow less relevant, less serious, less important.

The reality is that laughter is a gift. According to Helpguide.org:

"Laughter activates the chemistry of the will to live and increases our capacity to fight disease. Laughing relaxes the body and reduces problems associated with high blood pressure, strokes, arthritis, and ulcers. Some research suggests that laughter may also reduce the risk of heart disease. Historically, research has shown that distressing emotions (depression, anger, anxiety, and stress) are all related to heart disease. A study done at the University of Maryland Medical Center suggests that a good sense of humor and the ability to laugh at stressful situations helps mitigate the damaging physical effects of distressing emotions."

Knowing all of that might make it easier for us to laugh, really laugh, no matter who is around, or whether or not it is "appropriate". According to this evidence, God has given us the ability to luagh as an important part of our bodies and our spirits.

• What can you do to bring more laughter into your life?
• Where do you currently look for laughter?
• What things do you think are funny, but also feel like you just "shouldn't" or "can't" laugh?
• Write down 5 things that you think God may have made funny on purpose. (giraffes, farts, tickling, etc.)
• When was the last time you were thankful for laughter?
  

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Roller Coasters, Thrills, and Life

Image via WikipediaSpeed, screams, drops, laughs, curves, adrenaline, noise, fear, up and out of your seat air-time, exhilaration, nothing beats a roller coaster for many of us. It reminds us that we are alive.

I think, for me at least, a big part of that thrill is the excitement of being vulnerable, subject to being knocked around by the sudden changes in direction and g-forces that the ride dishes out. I get the illusion of being out of control, as if something could go horribly wrong at any moment. I get all of this but at the same time, I get the security of a lap bar and a seat belt, thrice daily safety checks and fail safes built into the ride to keep me from ever really being in danger. I can relax and enjoy the stimulus of vulnerability at very little true risk to myself.

These thrills are so much fun that we spend admission, food, parking and souvenir money to ride. It seems like when the seat belt comes off though, when we face vulnerability and loss of control among one another, the fear is too much. We go from being willing riders waiting in line to frightened isolationists running for the comfort of solitude or superficiality rather than enter willingly into the unknown of truly honest relationships.

I have found such depth in my relationships once I decided to try my best to live transparently in them, to relish the thrill of vulnerability, the excitement of feeling like this could all go horribly wrong at any moment. I need to push through my tendency to imagine worst case scenario outcomes and be honest about who I am, how I feel, what I need, where my boundaries are and what I wish for. All of those roller coaster emotions are available to me in my relationships too. The same thrills, the same exhilaration, the same adrenaline, they will come and they will fill the interaction between me and others with a sense of excitement about life and growth in the relationship. They will heighten and sharpen the senses.

Letting go of the fear though, there is the rub. There are some that do not ride roller coasters. That is OK for them, but I long for the excitement. The risk is worth the ride. Open up, get on, seek the thrill of a vulnerable and transparent relationship. Who needs a seat belt when the very nature of the Universe is to encourage and promote love and life?

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It's all Relative!

Cool image generated at Hetemeel.com

According to Einstein, a thing could appear to move faster or slower depending on where you were in relation to it. I think this not only applies to physics or objects, I think this also applies to outlooks and attitudes.

Imagine driving to work and getting stuck in a freak ice storm. Cars are hitting each other, spinning and sliding, people are stuck on hills and no one is moving. It is becoming obvious that you will not get to work, no work means of course, no pay. Eventually after an hour of this, the police arrive in big SUV's and begin to clear the mess.

Looking at this as one who is short of money, short of time, self centered and tired, this could make you quite angry. Not only that but the hour that goes by seems to take forever.

Watch this from a slightly different perspective, perhaps one that is intensely interested in human behavior, or awed at the power of nature, someone who maybe a little tight on cash but generally has what they need (you are in a car that you own and you ate three meals today after all) and everything changes. Perhaps from this relative position you are able to be thankful that no one is hurt, maybe even amused at the sight of tons of steel sliding around as if it weighed mere ounces. It is possible that this experience could leave you inspired at the kindness, patience and sense of community you witness among the other stranded drivers. Most amazingly, and in keeping with Einstein's theory, the whole experience could seem to fly by and this wonderful adventure could feel like it is over in a few short moments!

It's all relative. We can choose to suffer and be caught up in the agony of everything going wrong, or we can choose to look at it from a different perspective.

In an amazing coincidence, Einstein had another theory that relates to our thoughts and our attitudes. You can read more about that in the article link below.

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