We All Need a Referee

Image via WikipediaMy wife and I have a very good marriage. Not an easy marriage, or a stress free, problem-less marriage, but a very good marriage. We have a good marriage because we have learned how to communicate. We have learned how to communicate through the use of a referee, or a translator if you will. Someone who has taught us to hear and appreciate the sometimes foreign language that we occasionally speak to one another. He is our Marriage Counselor, our peacemaker. Let's call him Max (name changed to protect his identity). Max has helped us untie knots since the first year of our marriage. Max is on our Christmas card list. We have brought souvenirs back from our vacations for Max. Max is part of our family.

We see him for a few weeks out of every year just for a tune up or some course adjustments. That is now. In the beginning we saw him for 10 weeks, twice in the same year because we didn't really understand each other at all. As Max has helped us to speak the same language, the need for seeing him has become less and less. Now we see him really just to catch up on where we have fallen short of being the best partners we can be and for reassurance that we are coming somewhere close to doing this thing right.

Peacemakers are good listeners. Peacemakers have no agenda other than to foster understanding between two or more opposing parties. Peacemakers are patient. Peacemakers seek to find the truth and to hold all parties accountable to it. Peacemakers are teachers, helping others to learn new ways of communicating or behaving. Peacemakers are interested ultimately in helping relationships move forward toward growth and unity. Peacemakers are experts at helping to untie knots or remove roadblocks to understanding. Peacemakers are conduits of all that is Holy in the world.

To be a peacemaker is to rise to the highest calling imaginable; that is to help others find their way back into right relationship with the Universe. To be a peacemaker is to be gifted with the ability to help others become the best reflection of Universal Love possible. To be a peacemaker is to be a selfless vessel through which turmoil and anger can be held until it is still and then given back as the seeds of understanding.

We are all called to be peacemakers.

• How can we empty ourselves so that others may be made whole?
  
• How can we learn to pause long enough so that we can understand why people act the way they do and then be part of the healing?
• How can we learn to be so loving that our primary focus becomes helping others to love and be loved?

Family and Holidays

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One of the most beautiful things about holidays with spiritual or religious origins is that they give us time to pause and give some intentional thought to what our spirituality means to us. We all do this to greater or lesser extent. It doesn't matter your culture, your belief system, or where you are on your journey, these holidays give us all a reminder that we are on a road of discovering who we are, where we come from and how to live more fully in tune with the Universe.

Another thing that is universal to many of our holidays is family. They are a time to get together and remember our earthly roots. We revisit traditions, share hugs and stories of our younger years and generally bask in one another's company. I say all of this knowing full well that many of our families of origin are less than warm and loving. I believe that there are two families we all live in; the family we were born into and the family we choose along the way. My prayer is that for many of you, there is much overlap between the two. If there is not, may you be richly blessed by your family of choice and may they fill you and sustain you in friendship and love.

As Christians, this is our season for spiritual reflection, waiting for release from oppression and exile, and celebration at the birth of a Living God who teaches us, guides us, saves us from ourselves and the forces of the world and showers us with Grace and wholeness. Part of this season for us means time to be with our God and our families by removing as much distraction as possible. We will resume posting sometime after the 26th (within a day or two). We pray for you this season for healing where you need it, truth where it is lacking, light where it is darkest, and love where there is loneliness.

We'll be back on line soon enough, for now it is off to our families and our God.

Peace to you,
The folks at Spiritualevity

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Forgiveness

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He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass. ~George Herbert

Forgiveness is difficult. Difficult is an understatement. Forgiveness can seem impossible, can feel unattainable. Holding a grudge feels easier, more logical, an understandable response. It often feels like forgiveness is tantamount to surrendering, to declaring the one who wronged us the victor.

The reality is that not forgiving holds us captive. It keeps us locked in battle with the one who hurt us. An unending tug of war for victory. The problem is it is an internal struggle happening only within you, the offended. The other party is often unaware that you are still locked up in this conflict. The energy you spend on this is diverted away from seeking peace and love and balance in your life.

The Fetzer Institute does great work with it's Campaign for Love and Forgiveness. Is there something or someone that you are having trouble forgiving or putting behind you? Try their on-line ritual for letting go.

Spend some time today releasing others from grudges and past hurts. You maybe surprised how much you actually release yourself.

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