What DoYou Want, a Formal Apology?

Have you ever heard that, or said that? Well today, I finally found one; a formal apology form. I was just cruising aroud the web and I stumbled across this long spoken of tool for peace making. You can get it here.

I don't think we can really overestimate the value of a sincere apology. It is really a way of putting the weapons down. I have come to look forward to apologizing (mostly). Apologies give us a chance to reflect on how our actions are connected to other's re-actions. Apologies, when done with a pure heart can be moments of growth and acceptance. Apologizing for how our words or actions have done someone else harm without judging whether or not they (a) should have been harmed, or (b) to what extent they were harmed, really gives us the opportunity to show love and care for them above our desire to be right or our own egos.

If peacemakers are part of the Universe's plan for us, apologies give us the chance to be peacemakers; to humble oursleves and express a concern that we have caused pain by our actions or words.

Apologies are not a sign of weakness as only the strong are capable of sincere apology.

Apologies are not always an admission of guilt, rather, they are often an acknowledgement of someone elses feelings and existance.

Apologies are not only for the offended as they also release the offender.

Think about your circle of friends, family and acquaintances. Do you have apologies that can be given out? Go and apologize and restore the relationship.

Laugh and the World Laughs With You

Little kids have some things we bigger kids have lost.

• Imagination
• Silliness
  
• A sense of adventure
• Curiosity
  
• Disinterest in what the world thinks of our ideas
• Playfulness in all times and and in all ways
• Fearlessness about their bodies
• A way of looking at the world so as to find new uses for things that no one else has ever thought of

Just for fun today, do something crazy so that others can be reminded of the innocence of youth. Do something so silly that milk squirts out of your bosses nose. Splash around in your own creativity. Play like no one is looking. Celebrate your body. Disengage from your fear of being laughed at and BE LAUGHED AT.

Here are some questions to open your creative channels and get you in the mood.

Look at the picture on the right and think about these things:

• What was this boys original idea?
• What did his parents say when they found him?
• What was his response?
• Can you remember doing things like this when you were a kid?
• Tell someone about some of the things you did.
• Recreate one or two of them
  

Is Today Your Birthday?

Image by Jacob Johan via Flickr
It's my birthday today. My beautiful, can't-sing-a-note wife sang the birthday song to me. We are celebrating because I was born 42 years ago, a great day to be sure, but frankly an event I had nothing to do with except having the ability to breathe on my own when it was all over. Don't get me wrong, the contributions and gifts we bring to the world are worth celebrating, I'm just not sure there aren't at least several other dates to remember that we could call Birthdays.

If a birthday celebration marks the day we entered into the world and became human, what about other days when we entered more fully into the world and became more fully human?
Do you even remember what those events are or what date they fell on originally?
Could you make a list of all of those watershed events in your life and begin celebrating them?
Here's some possible RE-BIRTHDAYS for you to consider:

• Your first love
• Your graduation day
• The day you realized what you wanted to do with your life and started taking steps to get there
• The day you looked around and realized you WERE there
• The day you completed a long and difficult series of steps to reach an important goal
• Your wedding day
• The day you quit using drugs, alcohol, sex, eating, shopping, working, etc. as a crutch to get through life
• The day you knew, irrevocably, that there was a God and that God was good
• The day you became a parent
• The day you ended a harmful and difficult relationship
• The day you were announced to be cancer free
• The day you read the book that changed your life
• The day you suffered a loss so profound that you were never the same again

Now, not all of us have all of these re-birthdays. Compile your own list and start to celebrate them this year. Life is not set in stone the day you are born. It is a constant walk toward fulfillment and growth. Remember and celebrate the milestones.

Happy birthday to me, happy re-birthday to you.

Related articles by Zemanta

• A funny thing happened on the way to a birthday greeting
• Make the universe owe you.

Another Year Older, Another Year Wiser?

Image by BrittneyBush via Flickr
At the end of every year we are always surrounded by the "year in review" TV programs, newspaper articles, magazine issues and radio shows.

• What would it look like if you did a year in review?

When I was starting out doing comedy, I used to tape every performance, open mic, benefit, weekend paid spot, every gig I worked. I would then listen to and review the tapes seeing what worked, what could be adjusted, what needed to be scrapped and never used again. It was these honest reviews and adjustments that helped me learn and grow and polish my set until suddenly, 5 years later, there I was playing at the Tropicana in Vegas. It would not have happened without the review.

Making resolutions is good, probably even necessary to set goals and plot a course (see yesterday's blog for a new outlook on resolutions). Maybe a personal and honest review of our year just passed can help to build a map. We would have to be ready to celebrate the successes as well as analyze the failures, be thankful for the growth and mourn the losses, but if we could do this honestly, take an accurate measure of who we were, who we are and who we wish to become, wouldn't that be a good place to start a new year?

Imagine not having to repeat the same mistakes this year. Think about using your past successes as springboards to a whole new level. Analyze your repeating patterns that are also repeating obstacles. Here's some questions to get you started:

• What relationships were mutually beneficial last year and why?
• What relationships were sources of stress or pain on either side last year and why?
• What activities, work, play or social, filled you with the greatest sense of joy and fulfillment last year and why?
• What activities, work, play or social, caused you anxiety, stress or a sense of dread last year and why?
• What events or situations last year made you feel connected to the Universe or in touch with the Holy?
• What events or situations last year made you feel disconnected or made you try to deny the existence of the universe or the Holy?
• What were your greatest successes and what contributed to them last year?
• What were your greatest failures or disappointments and what contributed to them last year?

After spending some time on those questions, make sure you were as honest as you could tolerate, and then crank up the honesty one more notch. It oughta' hurt a little. Once that's done, go into the new year looking to be more aware of what contributes to your successes and what direction the disappointments come from. You will be armed for fulfillment!

Enjoy your reflection, it is yours and it is beautiful.

Resolutions of Abundance

Image via WikipediaI have made resolutions in the past and have been everything from a complete failure to a moderate success at keeping them. This year I want to go about them from a different angle. I am learning that life is about abundance and not scarcity, growth is about adding to and not taking away from. I have become convinced that the Universe in it's loving Grace and Wisdom wants us to succeed and prosper and to move toward fulfillment. All of my past resolutions have been focused on the negative; quit smoking (done), quit drinking (done), cut back on frivolous spending (done, but only because I am poor not because I have defeated this demon), lose weight (done and undone several times), etc.

I am sure you have made your own, similarly negative, resolutions. Focusing on the negative is not only counter to the Universe, but it is no fun. Is it any wonder I struggle to keep resolutions when they involve self-denial and the removal of things that, while they may be bad for me, are obviously so much fun that I have done them to excess?

• What if the focus for resolutions was on working toward gaining rather than loosing?
• What if we were to accept who we are, what we do and how we live as OK, but sought out ways to improve on it?
• What if instead of giving anything up this year we figured out what we could add?
• How much fun would that be?
  

I think this way of re-framing resolutions may be more than just semantics. It is possible that the concept of acquiring is just more appealing than losing, or giving up. It is possible that by adding the right things to our lives, the wrong things will just fade away.

This year, I resolve to add the following things to my abundant life in 2009:

1. Add more time to my schedule to talk to God.
   
2. Make more friends
3. Think more of others than myself
4. Take better care of my body
5. Devote more time to rest and renewal
6. Be more generous with my generosity

As I look over the list and think about the upcoming year I am aware of the fear that a year long commitment sometimes carries. Maybe it's best to go with the "one day at a time" approach. Instead of being intimidated by focusing on the whole of 2009 I could start each resolution with the line "just for today I will...". That seems doable! OK then, resolutions of abundance done one day at a time.

• How can you reword your resolutions to be in a positive rather than a negative voice?
• What can you add to your life that would enrich you and fulfill your spirit?
• How would you complete the phrase "just for today I will..." every day in 2009?

Blessings to you in 2009. Thank you for journeying along with the rest of us. May you be aware of the abundance of the Universe. May you give freely from that abundance.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Relaxing into my New Year's Resolutions!
• Resisting scarcity thinking

Person Refuge?

Image by Dizzy Girl via Flickr
Yesterday was the day every week that my family has chosen to set aside and rest. we use the word sabbath for that day. That word fits for us culturally, but I am becoming more and more aware that that word is also loaded with religious significance for many people. Sometimes, as I talk to people about their Spirits and their Universal Truths, I am struck by just how much those words that are closely tied to religion can be a real turn off. The words themselves seem to actually become roadblocks to some wonderful practices and ideas. Why that happens is probably fodder for another posting, and probably another blogger. Today though, I would like to take one word, sabbath, and deconstruct it. The concept itself is so important to serenity and fulfillment that it is worth blowing up the roadblock.

Sabbath- n - [Middle English sabat, from Old French sabbat and Old English sabat, both from Latin sabbatum, from Greek sabbaton, from Hebrew abbt, from bat, to cease, rest; see bt in Semitic roots.] Definition courtesy the free dictionary. com

To cease, to rest. To set aside all of the business and work of the other 6 days of the week and engage in stopping and resting. There is no religion tied to the word itself. Certainly, that connection comes up in the Judeo-Christian tradition, it is even one of the commandments but at it's root, the word and concept itself, sabbath simply means to cease and to rest.

Why rest? We seem to be so busy, to have so much to do. We know that there is no time to rest because in resting, something important won't get done. To answer why rest, let's look at nature:

• Plant crops in a field for too many consecutive years and the field will be depleted of nutrients
  
• Stay awake too long and there will be serious mental and physical consequences
• Trees and flowers all have seasons of growth and output followed by seasons of dormancy
  
• Wild animals have times of active hunting and gathering followed by periods or rest or in some cases, hibernation.

If any of these naturally occurring seasons of rest is skipped for too long a period of time, life can not continue. Rest, ceasing, seems to be built into the very fabric of nature.

To set aside one day a week in honor of who you are and Who created you is a gift. It is a gift to yourself, the fulfillment of your potential and to the universe itself. It is a way of respecting and nurturing the gift of life that was placed in you.

Call it what you need to, sabbath, rest day, refuge, sanctuary, cease and desist day, whatever works for you, just call it something and honor it. Set aside a day, every week, to not engage in business as usual. To honor the creation that you are and the Universe that Created you (in your own understanding). We provide wildlife refuges to protect animals from hunters, pollution, construction and noise, why do we think that we do not need that same protection once in a while. Pick a day and create your own "person refuge".

• Do you take time out of "business as usual" regularly?
• What would you do with that time if you took it?
• How would you include your family in those times?
• Can you figure out a way to try this, if not for a whole day, how about a morning?
• How has not taking a person refuge day impacted your body, Spirit and relationships in the past?
  

Forgiveness

Image by daftgirly via Flickr
He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass. ~George Herbert

Forgiveness is difficult. Difficult is an understatement. Forgiveness can seem impossible, can feel unattainable. Holding a grudge feels easier, more logical, an understandable response. It often feels like forgiveness is tantamount to surrendering, to declaring the one who wronged us the victor.

The reality is that not forgiving holds us captive. It keeps us locked in battle with the one who hurt us. An unending tug of war for victory. The problem is it is an internal struggle happening only within you, the offended. The other party is often unaware that you are still locked up in this conflict. The energy you spend on this is diverted away from seeking peace and love and balance in your life.

The Fetzer Institute does great work with it's Campaign for Love and Forgiveness. Is there something or someone that you are having trouble forgiving or putting behind you? Try their on-line ritual for letting go.

Spend some time today releasing others from grudges and past hurts. You maybe surprised how much you actually release yourself.

Related articles by Zemanta

• 10 Spiritual Tips For Forgiveness
• Hug O' War

Speed Limit Warning

Image by F.A.C.E. Ministries via Flickr

We have speed limits on the highways to help keep us safe and to conserve energy. We follow those speed limits (give or take 5 MPH) because we fear the consequences of getting caught. What about the speed limits that exist in our bodies? Are we even aware of them? Would we follow them if we were?

According to Helpguide.org, adults need 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night, every night in order to allow our bodies to heal and recover from the normal wear and tear of a day. this includes our nervous system, our brain function and our immune system not to mention our moods, memory and concentration. Try this fun little test to see how alert you are right now! How did you do? Are you less alert than you thought?

How's your breathing? Did you know that the average adult citizen of the United States breathes in and out at the rate of anywhere between 12 to 20 breathes per minute? According to Lumrix.net,

A trained, systematic approach to deep breathing may lower respiration rates in cardiac patients, helping them to maintain healthy blood oxygen levels and become more physically fit. In one study, 15 cardiac patients were assigned to one of two experimental groups. One of the groups learned "complete yoga breathing," a style of respiration that encourages slow, deep breathing at a rate of about six breaths per minute. Those patients continued practicing the breathing method at home for an hour a day. After a month, the patients practicing the breathing technique breathed more slowly, had higher levels of blood oxygen, and performed better on exercise tests.

http://www.lumrix.net/health/Respiratory_rate.html

http://snipurl.com/81p2a

That would mean we are probably averaging half the oxygen saturation we need for more energy, faster metabolisms, and better overall health. How many breathes are you taking in a minute? You can time yourself here. Can you even get yourself to 6 breathes per minute?

How about for one week, you give yourself permission to slow down. Breathe slower and more deeply. Sleep at least 8 hours a night. Think about why we are so willing to obey the speed limit in our cars, but not with our bodies. Maybe part of why we feel so tired all the time is because we actually are so tired all the time. Not enough fuel (oxygen) in, too much fuel spent (lack of sleep) = empty tanks.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Deep Breathing - Nourishment of Nervous System
• Breathe Smart [Charlene's review]

Holy Humor

Image via WikipediaVoltaire: "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." I do not know if Voltaire really said that, I found it on the internet. As a matter of fact, I am not even 100% sure who Voltaire was (is).

I do however share the belief that this universe is filled with humor and things that we should be laughing at, but on some level we are afraid to. It's almost as if by laughing, we are admitting to being somehow less relevant, less serious, less important.

The reality is that laughter is a gift. According to Helpguide.org:

"Laughter activates the chemistry of the will to live and increases our capacity to fight disease. Laughing relaxes the body and reduces problems associated with high blood pressure, strokes, arthritis, and ulcers. Some research suggests that laughter may also reduce the risk of heart disease. Historically, research has shown that distressing emotions (depression, anger, anxiety, and stress) are all related to heart disease. A study done at the University of Maryland Medical Center suggests that a good sense of humor and the ability to laugh at stressful situations helps mitigate the damaging physical effects of distressing emotions."

Knowing all of that might make it easier for us to laugh, really laugh, no matter who is around, or whether or not it is "appropriate". According to this evidence, God has given us the ability to luagh as an important part of our bodies and our spirits.

• What can you do to bring more laughter into your life?
• Where do you currently look for laughter?
• What things do you think are funny, but also feel like you just "shouldn't" or "can't" laugh?
• Write down 5 things that you think God may have made funny on purpose. (giraffes, farts, tickling, etc.)
• When was the last time you were thankful for laughter?
  

Related articles by Zemanta

• 5 Ways to be More Resiliant
• Welcome Health With a Smile
• Laughter . . . Good Medicine
• What Does Humor Have to do With Health?

Signs That God has a Sense of Humor

A Friend sent this picture to me in an email. I don't know who took it. I wish I could attribute it to a photographer but instead I will attribute it to the Universe.

What are the odds of snapping this picture at exactly the right time to capture this little "Universal Smiley"? Isn't it great when things like that happen? When all of a sudden, out of the blue, the universe reminds you that it is laughing and playing and celebrating it's own existence.

I think it happens more often than we are aware.

What if you spent a whole day just looking for God giggles like this one? You would have to slow down. You would have to make sure that the world and it's makeup were worth paying more attention to than any agenda, meeting, goal or destination. You would have to be really tuned in to the hidden and the mysterious, but imagine how many times over the course of a day God is sending you a laugh-o-gram.

Stop imagining and commit a day, or a few hours to searching these moments out. Journal about them, photograph them, tell others about them. Make a collection so that you can look at it whenever you feel like either you, or your world is getting a little too serious.

Giving it Away (a little of it anyway)

My good friend Paul Lyons is one of the funniest, and nicest, comics I have ever been blessed by meeting. He has an amazing outlook on life, joy and the gift of just being alive. If you have the chance to see him perform, don't miss it.

One of the gifts Paul gives to me and others is conversation. We talk about Paul's belief that we all move too quickly. We are in a hurry to "get somewhere", "accomplish something" or "grab a bigger slice of the pie". He often wonders out loud, "what do we miss when we rush on by?"

Paul recently told me about something he does every once in a while to really make people "slow down". He gets about 7 or 8 dollar bills and gives them away one at a time to strangers out in the world. Paul reports that the reactions go from disbelief, that someone would give away money without strings, to excitement and eventually to laughter and lightness for the whole group of strangers.

What a neat exercise! Imagine, meeting someone and having them be generous to you for no good reason. Especially now, at a time when we put so much fear and anxiety onto our money. Paul is running counter to the culture, but in sync with the Holy.

Do you have 7 or 8 dollars that you could give away today? Go to the mall, the bus, the airport, or how about your local IRS office! Go and hand out some generosity and watch what happens to people.

Abundance vs. Scarcity

What would happen if we lived out of a mindset of abundance. Imagine that no matter what happened in the economy, no matter what we owned or didn't own, no matter how our pile of stuff stacked up against our neighbors pile, we believed that we had enough. What if we knew we had enough food, enough resources, and enough courage to just live in a state of sufficiency.

Would some of our fears go away? Would we shake off some of the stress and worry about "keeping up". Would we spend less time being protective of our stuff and more time being generous? Would those changes allow us to help others feel less stressed as well?

Are you willing to try a little experiment in trusting the Universe? How about changing a few small behaviors for one week and seeing if they make a difference in how you feel. If you are willing to be generous in a few small areas, perhaps you may find that while the rest of the world is afraid to "run out" you can enjoy the comfort and security of knowing you have more than you need. So, just for one week could you:

• Tip the servers where you eat 25%, whether they "deserve" it or not? I'll bet the extra change won't be missed by you and who knows, it may change their outlook and attitude.
• Pay the bus fare of the person behind you every day? That $10.00 investment may actually set some other chain of events in motion that you will never see. At the very least, the smiles you get will lighten you heart.
• Give an hour or two to a volunteer cause? I know, time is at a premium and we all are crunched. Don't worry though, you'll still get done what needs to get done.
• Cook an extra meal every day and set it aside for your local "Meals on Wheels" organization? You know, much of that food gets put in the fridge as leftovers and then thrown out anyway. How about we feed someone instead?
• Give up the best parking spots when you go to mall or grocery store? There are plenty of spots out there, you may have to walk a little bit but that will do you some good anyway.

Try, just for one week, to live as if you have more than you need. The truth is, you do.